Love does not demand its own way. This is a truth that the Lord is working on burning into my heart. For the past year, I have been meeting with a mentor, a woman who I love and respect SO much. At one of our first meetings, she and I talked about my struggles with parenting a toddler. Her immediate response was, “Jamie, when you are mentoring your children, do you encourage in righteousness, or demand?” OUCH!! That question hit me at the depths of my core. As I searched my heart for the answer, I realized that in every area of my life, I often demand my own way. More often than not, I nag my husband in a quest for him to act the way that I WANT him to, or to treat me the way that I WANT him to. When, I discipline my children, I seek results that I WANT, and use punishments that are convenient FOR ME. That’s not love!! After all, 1 Corinthians 13:5 says, “Love DOES NOT demand its own way.” After a good talk with my mentor, I had some blinders taken off of my heart and a big shift in thinking. I now understand that demanding MY WAY is not going to accomplish anything but frustration for everyone in my family. The only person whose actions I can truly control are my own. So, the best way to mentor my children is to model righteousness for them, to seek the Lord in all I do and allow my actions to speak for themselves.
Another scripture that has new meaning for me is Ephesians 6:4. It says, “Fathers (and mothers), do not exasperate your children; instead bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”. Reading this with a new set of eyes shows me again, that as long as I am seeking MY WAY, I’m not being the parent God has called me to be. Instead, I must run towards the Lord with my kids and train them in what is good and true through my actions. This is definitely still a struggle for me, but it is a battle with my flesh that I am happy to fight! I am SO thankful for the wisdom of a godly woman who has been down the path ahead of me and is willing to share her heart to help me grow!
Jamie Mullins is a wife, mom of two, runner, wanna-be chef, and recovering shopaholic who LOVES people. Jamie is the Volunteer Coordinator at the Denton Campus and is amazed that God chooses to use a broken woman like her.
What a great question…..”do you encourage righteousness, or demand?” When i feel like i demand good behavior, or have my own expectations for my kids, it leaves everyone frusterated. I hate feeling like i am on my kids all the time.
Thanks for the encouragement, now off to hug my kiddos!!!
-Lauri
Thank you Jamie for sharing your experience… it has truly blessed my husband and me tonight. We have a 6 and 3 year old and continually struggle with getting them to “listen” to us and to make the right choices. Your story reminds me that we are both demanding our way rather than leading them with love to make the right choices. What a relief that we’re not alone and also encouraging to hear that consistently seeking the Lord will help allieviate the stress in our household!
Blessings to you,
Micki
I must confess that I am guilty many times of believing God is demanding his way rather than leading me with love to make the right choices… On the first Sunday of this series, the Father spoke to my heart in a very powerful way. I have demanding my way in an area of my life he desires otherwise for me. (I was telling myself this works!) Upon learning of the “Yes God” series I was very enthusiastic about the challenge of going with God! That Sunday morning I was worshipping and the Father showed up. I remember I had my head down and he came and took my face in his hands and made direct eye contact. I put my head down again, only to find him embracing my face in his hands again, making direct eye contact, and softly whispering “let go and walk away”. Saying yes to Papa is my heart’s desire and leads me into FREEDOM. The past six months I’ve literally experienced a battle going on between my spirit and soul, God has been speaking in multiple ways regarding this matter – through friends, loved ones, dreams, and circumstances. Since saying “YES GOD” the weight has lifted, though my soul is grieving, I am certain He will sustain me and bring a greater beauty. He desires truth in our inner parts and wisdom in the secret places. Those secret places are not seen, yet if we allow him, he’ll show up!
Though my eyes have not seen the fullness of this new season – I’m singing a new song – “For behold, the winter is past,
The rain is over and gone. The flowers have already appeared in the land; The time has arrived for pruning the vines, and the voice of the turtledove has been heard in our land. The fig tree has ripened its figs,
and the vines in blossom have given forth their fragrance. Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, And come along!” Song of Songs 2:10-13